Fear not, humble reader! I come to the rescue with a peashooter!

Well, actually, the pattern comes from Mel's Crochet Happiness, and is available free on Ravelry.

I made the stem by crocheting a tube to go around a doubled over pipe cleaner, and I fudged together some larger leaves for the base of the plant. I bought a cheap fake plant from the dollar store, that came in a cute little ceramic pot, threw out the plant and poked my peashooter into the foam.

If by some chance you haven't yet heard of the fabulous Plants Vs Zombies by PopCap, likely you've had no idea what I've been talking about. But it's free online, and available for iPhone and Android, so there's no reason not to rectify that, really. It's fun, the game mechanics are laughably simple and it's so darn addicting it's like Angry Birds all over again - but with more strategy, and less math and angle figuring.